The Withering Heart...

The Withering Heart.... 

I cannot live without you or can I?

Do I have meaning in life without you or don’t I?

Are we part of a conscience unified?

Or are we parts of life soon to be put aside?

I found my lost peace & lost the pain of life with you

I never thought I’d be able to ease & gain in life without you.

What is the relationship we share?

Is it possible that this distance it will bear?

Distance they say makes the heart grow stronger!

But my actions have forced me to search for you and ponder!

I live my life just for you.

I’ve been told but, I should be selfish too…

I’ve wished no moment of life without you!

But what I’ve done makes me feel this dread will come true.

Madly in love I’ve said no breath shall escape my lips without your name

Sadly I see that anxious is my heart for you that dips and only I’m to blame.

I sit out here at the sea watching the stars in the sky so dark and blue.

But my moon is missing, I don’t know where it’s gone, I have no clue.

In each ripple and wave,

I see your smile, I see your face.

The rain that falls may hide my tears,

But only I know what my heart truly fears.

In every gust of wind and breeze,

I miss your hug, I tend to freeze.

Friends I’ve had made many back home,

Friends I’ve made a few on these shores.

Restless is my mind devoid of action,

Fearful is my heart of losing our attraction.

Time is said to heal the wounded,

But all I see it do to me is peel and pound it.

Life is a lovely game with you, so I play it,

Let’s see how long I manage to stay in it?

“Because I live, you shall live also” (John 14:19).

We need to endure the changing world around us that’s dark and insecure;

To help us view the present as a passing episode, a brief encounter on life’s short and troubled road.

For the fact that life is eternal in a world of sin and strife, nothing but a steppingstone to a new and better life!

A promise was made to walk the infinite miles in faith, hope & belief and all that was asked is a promise to walk back at least.

We need not show how we feel; we need not show how true is the reel.

Promises made are meant to be kept, and when we don’t all we've done is cribbed and wept

We cannot say that in life we won't face any problems, but I surely can say that you won't face them alone!

Now it's up to you. No matter what you decide to do, I'll always be here for you.

- My interpretation of “The Promise of Easter: That All May Have Life And Have It In Abundance.” (John 10:10)

In the Rain....Burnt with Desire

For each desired kiss

For all the time spent

For all the seconds took to give you a look

and having not said all I still have to say

You played your part so well

A modern romeo

You came not on Cupid's wings

but like the comforting wind and then you flew away

When you touched my face

When you called my name

I burned with desire

For every sleepless night till morning light

Forever in your arms, lost in their charms

For every hour spent, my heart yearns to vent

Lost in your reverie

You didn’t break your promises, you saw me again

No blame and no regrets, you burned the bridges between us too

And now we are in an endless mystery, So beautiful

that I wait to be burnt in my desire

And for you leave me in the rain.....

Never Say Never Again!

Love

You’re in my flesh and bone

No wonder my heart beats out of tone

Where ever you go I’m home

I’ll follow you....there!

You’re in my head

In my heart

In my soul

You are like the air I breathe

Yes you’re my favourite dream

I’ll follow you...even there!

When everything seems lost

I’m stuck, like i am falling down...with nowhere to go

I know that you will guide me home

So promise me

Cause I know you’ll stay with me

And you will wait for me

Care for me

And never say never

No never say never again to say and make me hear those words again...

I love you!

The Lisa Smile

Lisa Iyer: August 08, 1996 - May 15, 2011

A four legged treat of mischief untold 

A four legged girl she was so bold 

She could rival our appetites for fun and play 

Oh! She had the powers to hold cranky Grandma at bay! 

She could take a on any challenge big or small 

And still would be there to answer to all our calls 

She came into our lives fifteen years ago 

And then today fate struck her with a severe blow 

God won’t know why it was to be her, 

God still doesn't know the cure to cancer. 

Now you’re gone, at peace, happy and free, 

Leaving behind fond memories for us thee. 

You wanted to go for a drive in my car, 

And for a change not chase it; like other dog’s at par 

And then you did take that last ride, 

Fast asleep, in eternal peace with your loved ones beside 

We took a decision to put an end to her suffering 

But, now she’s gone and we're back to the beginning

It's just a huge feeling that no one knows yet

But Lisa, I cry when I think of you and it’s difficult to forget

I would like to let my memories grow stronger and stronger

And when you’re there before my eyes, I wish you’d smile a little longer

You'll come back, I hope, when I call you

I didn't want to say good bye

You'll come back from across those distant miles 

So that I could see you, my Lisa smile.

The Empty Frame

Oh when the cold wind blows, I feel it to the bone,

Oh when you say you know, all I feel is that I am alone.

And even though I may never return those empty places are my own,

And I would remember everything in grief and lament and moan. 

You and I remember there's a life that I have not lived yet,

Are we just simple truths or are we bold lies?

We have been fooling ourselves too long

You and I should be breaking ties, because we can’t be so right and so wrong!

You said you're sorry, you won’t do it again,

I gave you chances but you betrayed me in the bargain.

I tried holding on, the days, I let them drag on in hope so profound,

Stupid I was, I should have known, that it's too late for you, to come around.

Baby I was naive, I got lost in your eyes, but I never really had a chance,

I had many dreams about you and me, happy endings, love and dance.

And then there you were on your knees, begging for forgiveness, begging for me,

As though it was just what I always wanted you to do, but I'm so sorry it just can’t be.

I can feel the tear drops slowly falling, and they're falling from my heart as I weep,

I wish someone could save me, cause I'm drowning in pain and sinking deep.

I've been hurt by your mistakes, even though I put you first, 

And in the process if I have erred, I tell you now my heart is about to burst.

Over time, love tends to fade and all that's left are these arguments like a gale, 

Sleepless nights, and stormy days, have helped me to gather proof that love does change.

And now I'm bleeding, I'm lonely again, clinging onto hope in the anger and hate’s sway,

And now I'm hurt cause it's my mistake, I should have known this was not the right way.

And now the smiles all fade away leaving only but all this endless pain,

Cause over time when love fades there is nothing left for anyone to gain.

And in the end all that remains is this empty space,

And in the end all that remains is an empty frame.

The Insignificant

It all began with a simple chat, which led to the connection of our significant hearts.

Our hearts connected slowly through the crossing of our significant paths

And eventually we tread our paths which so often crossed between our significant lives.

Destiny so far played a twisted role, separating the mare from its foal.

And amidst the twisted life came ashore, the knight in shining armor in search of his goal.

His charms and looks enchanted the foal, and he helped it grow very bold.

And then when the young colt was leaping around, the knight in armor gave it a jolt and kept him bound.

The colt was shocked and left alone, hurt by its master’s harsh tone.

And often wondered did the colt what made masters love grow so cold?

The paths that crossed before had grown inseparable as significant as each other’s soul and heart

And then was struck the blow so hard, that the heart and soul were torn apart

Fought a war too many the heart and soul have, nigh-inseparable their fate at hand,

And try to salvage they did their fates and tried to revive the fragile bond.

And then like the colt and knight their fates remained lost in thoughts as to what happened in disdain

And now the battle rests upon how one so significant became the insignificant!

It will break on through…

I’ve seen the faces

Of people in places

Burn up and die

And fade to their graves

Now; I see the pieces
of my life with people

And in places
Burn up…and crack
And slowly fade to grey

I feel like I’ve been walking on water
I feel like I’ve been dancing on wire
precariously hang on the edge
but don't know what to do…

I'm sometimes on the outside

Sometimes in the inside
Wide open spaces

Closed narrow crevices
Searching for time to hold onto

I wish to fly into the daylight
Like I am a revelation
Cut my suppressing bonds with a knife
And break on trough to my freedom

I want hold onto this feeling
Cause to dream is a gift
Cause to love is divine
And
I know that won't bring me down


It will break on through…

The heart that yearns.....does it always learn?

I don't have the courage or the capacity to write any reply!

But, i can't but wonder to ask you why?

You were descriptive from blink to eye.....

I can't think of anything else but just cry....


Am i being naive i often think soo....

but i'll tell you this I don't stray when someone says Go!


to me he is someone close to my heart, but that doesnt mean i play a different part,

In your life i am your spouse, and with him, if people want they can addreess me as the adultrous grout!

bear in mind that I am being honest with you,

people say and so do you that at my age this could all but be true...


I am not stating you're doubting me or my actions,

its just that i have a varied levels of attraction...


i am, i agree a love seeking git,

but i dont commit things at my whim and fancy or when i see it fit!


i dont need to lament about my past, you know very well how i have been treated....

and of the all the characters from that cast, he is but one i have sheathed


I know i am not that good in answering by way of my worded emotions,

no wonder they came with the proverb that words are often superceeded by actions...


so yes, a week is but a wait too long, i wait eagerly to hear every days last gong...

but i have always been made to learn that distances make the heart grow strong


and through that perhaps is something new i will have to learn....

and maybe you will know why my heart yearns......

Closet Romance Vol 1. Poem 5.

i can't bear to see or hear you cry!

...you've done enough of it before so don't retry!

now is the time for you to just smile

and that is a promise my love that you can file!

i want you to make love to me and i know you want that too!

i know this is a new language called committment, spoken by but a true few!

distance is a factor that can be overcome,

time is a catalyst  that is just part of a sum

fret not my love, for you're not going astray

i am just waiting for fate and chance to beckon me your way!

the love you have for me is not sex or even a fuck!

it's something more beautiful that cannot be valued by the buck! 

you may have thought you were being a slut,

let me tell you that's a path i have already strut.

i won't ask you to be happy by doing what i say

i know your heart to well, i know you won't go that way

temptation is but human fact

but curiosity always never killed the cat

you call me your shining star,

but you are the sun that lights me up from afar!

in your past in greed, need and exploited pleasure you were raped,

but in your present and future my undying love you will be draped

i have been through relations 4 so far,

they all were right and wrong in their own part...

i still love them in my own silly ex-bf bay

but know this, i love you in a very special way...

i know of what some guys n gals might want to say 

but you know even they need someones sunshine to make their shady hay... 

you said you'ld love me beyond my imaginations

and so now i wait to be immersed in your vivid fascinations

Closet Romance Vol 1. Poem 4.

My soul would have been your shield,

My life I would spend to see you heal

I’d risen from the ashes like the phoenix bird

I would have let the untold silence be heard

I don’t know how our lives are entwined

I don’t even want to see a rewind

They say our life is but a riot

But then I wonder around what it pivots

You’re in love, I know it’s true

I am in love, madly in love with you

Love is your instinct

And in it is my precinct

My mind may dance to somebody’s been

My heart however will stay fixed and serene

Our roads might not meet on any highway,

But if I remember our love began in an alleyway

We took no time to take this fall,

I know we will rise above it all You expect none,

seek nothing in return I have but love

and ask for only love in return.....

Je T’aime Mon Amour!

Till my dying day!

Closet Romance Vol 1. Poem 3.

T’was just like another day,

A storm blew in and passed over nay

Burnt, bruised, battered gray

My life was struck and thunder played And still this was just another day.

....and then one day, the moon shone bright,

I came out from my the inherent fright,

I embraced the world for who I am,

And to achieve my best in life I swam.

I overcame all that I could with bear to stand

I forgave a few and asked the same with that hand

In return I received more than just shocks and shots

In despair and depression I fell, like I was in a generic slot

And then when I finished my basic tasks

I thought that maybe now I could go bask

But then this happiness was short lived too

More responsibilities came, some wicked, some shrewd

I was to embark on a journey anew

Heading off to a place where I knew very few,

Friends i had many to leave behind,

and also my foes! But nervous I was with nippy toes...

And then at last on that final day,

The wind did blow in my way,

To set me sailing towards my desire

I got someone, someone who was ‘hiyer’ (higher)...

Closet Romance Vol 1. Poem 2.

Opening up to you has been surreal

You know the how my life has been like a slimy eel

You thought you couldn’t say those words ever,

But for me they were never reciprocated before, I should have clever!

Being transparent is all I can see

Our relation will blossom, from a single sand grain to the sea

Mistakes have happened, will happen...

it is human to err But the love you have for me I know is much dearer!

Distance parts us, so does time, a journey we both will have soon

Maybe in the form of a long distance drive!!

...you and I side by side!!

Sex is not my priority,nor is getting physical with anyone while I am alone!

There are zillions of XXX sorority’s that message me, but I don’t even want to say shalom!

I don’t want you to tell me what you think of me forever or now,

You wouldn’t have taken this step with me, without the know-how!

Love, you’re not being rude in any way

It’s just that you are elegantly crude

I wish too that you were here to hold my hand

I wish to sleep in your sweet embrace, singing sweet lullaby’s.....

We haven’t yet given ourselves any nick’s or names.......i think that will happen as time flies-by..

I know for sure our relationship will be grand, beyond the realms of time and sand

So that someday maybe, they stand still and bear witness to us

Recreating our lives the way we wanted it to be, I hope I am not sounding to presumptuous

I know I asked you to keep us under the wraps,

It just that I want to avoid some old badgering unnecessary shit and bull-crap!

I have a few things and issues with people to bring to an end....

And for it to happen I hope if I need, you will come to my defence!

The moon is all but away from the earth, but it still pulls the tides back and forth

Our hearts pound and beat afar, but distance can never tear us apart

If our bodies need warmth and sex is the means,

Then I am cool with the idea of getting it however important it may seem

Call it whatever the outsiders may....betrayal or greed

But when I love you and you love me, I don’t think it comes under the category of ‘need’

Our lives were fried, twisted, scalded, tried on and turned

But you see at the end all that happened to us was we ended up well cooked, but just a lil burned

The love between us is like the toppings & spice...

It will make us look tasty, delicious and nice!

I don’t care that I am young or you are old, everyone else can think what they want...

We’re going to be one hot couple....and the rest of the world can be cold!

I generally cannot write a poem with absolutely no rhythm like this

But with you loving me I am not gonna give this opportunity a miss!

So here it is again, from your angel!

Straight from my heart to you, my little love jingle!

Closet Romance Vol 1. Poem 1.

I don't know why my heart pounds so....

But i know for sure, that my heart is ticking faster than the seconds hand that moves in the clock!

With every blink that my eye has, i feel time shouldnt fly fast!

I being selfish and wish that time freezes, so that i can relive with you every moment of this short past...

I know i might rush you in and push you too!

But i want to get to tuck you in and kiss you too!

I have always looked back when the train left your stop,

and like cupids arrow struck, my heart would go pop!

Its magical that our lives have ascended through so many tiffs and trials...

And it would be mystical you know if we are be able to create our own twists and revivals...

You said you're going grey and old,

but for me you're someone who is always in the fray and bold!

I am a whole nine years shy of the thirty long years you've done...

But I'm guessing maybe i am or you're my guy or the so called 'destined' one!

I may be young with a story to still tell,

but in my head i guess i have aged a lot with many experienced life years that have been felled....

You said you want to grow young with me,

and i said i want to grow old with you!

And i agree that love is not just what you and i are but what we will become!

We've talked about me having no chicken and mutton,

but i'm hoping that our relationship will come to be more than just like the curious case of benjamin or even his button!

I know this poem sounds very silly,

but i must say that I'm feeling very guilty!

In my rush i gave you a miss,

and left without taking or giving you an everlasting kiss...

I know that i left home now with everything that was mine,

but i am happy to know and say that i left my heart behind!

From a Son to his Father:

Coming out is really scary.
The hardest thing I've had to do.
The biggest thing I've ever said,
And I trust telling you.

You may be gutted, I am expecting it though.
Even so I'd expect you to show
A little support through this chilling time,
But, I'd feel I have more support from a lemon and lime.

I have felt it like I was against the tide,
And I am hoping you'd come with your arms open wide.
I want you to bring me into your warm embrace,
For I will not be able to bear the shame on your face.

You have spoken to me at times too sharp and then also cool,
Oh how naive I am and such a fool,
I am thinking that you would be ok and smile,
Cause I don't want to see you lose it for a long while.

You may have thought you'd failed me by bringing me up alone,
Don't blame yourself, you'd never have known.
You didn't fail me, you've done me good.
I'm very happy, Be proud; Because you should.

Dad I'll say this, I'm still & will be always your son but I’m gay.
And I hope you'll understand that I'm staying this way.